I always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love. And now that you’ve come into my life…
I’ve changed my mind.
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I must admit, you brought religion into my life…
– I never believed in Hell until I met you.
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As the days go by, I think how lucky I am….
That you’re not here to ruin it for me .
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Congratulations on your promotion. Before you go….
Will you take the knife from my back? You’ll probably need it again.
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Happy Birthday! You look great for your age….
Almost lifelike!
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When we were together, you said you’d die for me…
– Now we’ve broken up, I think it’s time to keep your promise.
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Congratulations on your new bundle of joy….
– Did you ever find out who the father was?
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You are such a good friend. If we were on a sinking ship and there was only one life jacket…
– I’d miss you terribly and think of you often .
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Your friends and I wanted to do something special for your birthday…
So we’re having you put to sleep.
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Looking back over the years that we have been together, I can’t help but wonder…..
What the hell was I thinking
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I’m so miserable without you…
It’s almost like you’re still here.
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Thank you for being part of my life….
I never knew what evil was until I met you!
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Congratulations on your wedding day!…
Too bad no one likes your husband.
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How can I say this….
Your cooking kills me
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Hooray…..
– You’re divorced.
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I just want you to know that I’m sorry for what happened…
– Especially since you survived.
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Congrats on getting married…
It’s not everyday you decide to ruin your life.
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Someday I hope to marry…
Someone other than you.
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We have been friends for a very long time…
What do you say we stop?