The nine most terrifying words in the English language are:
‘I’m from the government and I’m here to help.’
Four most: “Whose BRA is this!”
Categories
Month: December 2005
Categories
electrocution
Three co-eds got really drunk celebrating their college graduation. They woke up in a foreign jail and were shocked to learn they were to be executed that very morning! The redhead was strapped into an electric chair and asked if she had any last words. “I’m a Brigham Young graduate and I believe that God Almighty will intervene on behalf of the innocent.” They threw the switch and — nothing happened! The police prostrated themselves, begged her forgiveness, and released her immediately. The brunette was strapped in and pronounced, “I’m a Harvard Law School graduate and I believe the power of justice will intervene on behalf of the innocent.” They threw the switch and — nothing happened! The police prostrated themselves, begged her forgiveness, and released her immediately. The blonde was strapped in and said, “I’m a Texas A&M graduate with a degree in Electrical Engineering and I believe y’all ain’t gonna ‘lectrocute nobody if you don’t plug this sucker in!”
Categories
some riddles
Here are 4 riddles which can keep your lateral thinking faculties busy for a long time…
Categories
heavenly punishment
Heavenly Punishment
Three friends die and go to heaven. The first guy gets handcuffed to one of the ugliest girls there. ”Why?” he asks. St. Paul replies, ”When you were nine you killed a bird with a stone.” The same happens to the second guy. He asks why. St. Paul replies, ”When you were nine you killed a bird with a stone.” The third guy laughs at his friends and says, ”Thank God I didn’t do anything like that.” He gets handcuffed to the prettiest girl in heaven. The other two guys ask, ”Why?” ”Because when she was nine she killed a bird with a stone.”
Categories
Wearing an Earring
A man is at work one day when he notices that his co-worker is wearing an ear-ring.
This man knows his co-worker to be a normally conservative fellow, and is curious about his sudden change in “fashion sense.” The man walks up to him and says, “I didn’t know you were into ear-rings.”
“Don’t make such a big deal, it’s only an ear-ring,” he replies sheepishly.
“So, really? How long have you been wearing one?”
“Ever since my wife found it in our bed.”
Categories
rambling of a father
Our generation never got a break. When we were young they taught us to respect our elders. Now that we are older, they tell us to listen to the youth of the country.
When I hear about people like Angelina Jolie adopting African orphans, it makes me feel like I’m not doing enough. But I have to be honest – adopting a baby seems like a lot of work, especially when you layer on the “flying to another country” part. I want to be nice, but not THAT nice. I was looking for an easier way to show the world that I’m a good person, and thanks to President Bush, I think I’ve found it.
The President wants people to adopt the embryos that can’t be used for stem cell research. An embryo would be the perfect adopted child. I’d just keep it in the fridge, claim a tax deduction for my new dependent, and fend off the advances of Brad Pitt who would probably be aroused by my caring attitude.
If my embryo gets lonely, I’ll get a few dozen more to keep it company.
I don’t have much food in my fridge, so there would be no problem with storage, at least until the next power outage.
Embryo babies are not as cute as regular ones, I grant you that. But when you consider the convenience and economics of the situation, it’s hard to argue against them. You’d never need to buy clothes for an embryo. It never talks back, and it couldn’t have premarital sex no matter how hard it tried, despite easy access to condiments.
I’m not sure if I’d need to feed it. It probably comes with a pamphlet that tells me that sort of thing. I hope I get one that isn’t a fussy eater. I want to sprinkle lettuce in the Petri dish every few weeks when I think of it and call it good.
The hard part is naming it. I’m thinking along the lines of Amy the Embryo.
Categories
child is a seed
I read a really catching quote yesterday from one of his speech in TOI (28th Aug)
A child is clay waiting to be molded by parents and teachers. He is a seed which can grow into a tree. But if you give a potter this seed, you will get a Bonsai. …
Reservations for forward classes
Reservations in India are pre-dominantly for the govt. jobs and University education and many organizations are demanding for reservations for forward class poor. My arguments against it are:
- Forward class constitutes 15% of the population. Even if 50% of the seats are reserved, 15% of the population has access to 50% of the postings. So creating a special sub-category will only distort the demography.
- A feudal oppression in society is rampant. Lower caste is denied their basic right of dignity. Reservation for forward caste will catapult the left out oppressors ahead, thus defeating the very cause of reservation.
- Education in India is really economical. Tuition fees are a couple of thousand, loans and scholarships are in abundance. Hardly will you find anyone working part-time to raise tuition fee and rarely anyone drops outs due to economic reasons. For the job, past economic condition is irrelevant as the pays are decent. One needs to be a real moron to not get selected even tough he belongs to so called creamy layer.
- When you give a poor SC/ST a job, university degree, you do not help an individual, but the whole community. He becomes a role model and enlightens his family, relatives and friends about reforms and dignity. However a poor forward class will try to fit himself with his peers and maybe practice caste system for recognition among his peers.
- Reservation for some-one whose parents do not know what education is, who works in adolescence earning bread for his younger sister and whose basic right to dignity is deprived makes sense. Someone who does not know what development is and has no access to knowledge or capital for benefit of those around needs up-liftment not a forward caste fellow.
Categories
Poetic Resignation
Poetic Resignation
The name is good, the brand is big
But the work I do is that of a pig
The work or the brand; what is my way?
I don’t know if I should stay.
To work, they have set their own way
Nobody will care to hear what I say
My will be NULL, they wont change their way
I don’t know if I should stay.
The project is in a critical stage
But to do good work, this is the age
This dilemma is killing me day by day
I don’t know if I should stay.
The money is good, the place is great
But the development is at a very small rate
Should I go for the work, or wait for pay
I don’t know if I should stay!
The managers don’t know what they talk
The team doesn’t know where they walk
That’s a bad situation, what say?
I don’t know if I should stay.
I can go to any other place
But what if I get the same disgrace
I can’t keep switching day by day
I don’t know if I should stay.
The -ves are more, the +ves are less
Then why have this unnecessary mess
No more will I walk their way,
It’s all done, I won’t stay.
Thanks & Regards
Employee
Manager Response
Reply: What I want to say? (Manager)
The decision is good or decision is bad
Only God knows still I am glad
Keep moving in life that is what I can say
If you feel right go in the same way
May god give you the work, the challenge you want
Anyway there is always a second chance
Chances are there, grab them snatch them
That is what I can say
Keep on jumping companies to get more and more and more….
That will keep you always a fore (Even to me)
From my experience I can tell you
Being in software development is like taking hell out of you
You are frustrated since you have no quality work
And you were frustrated because you had quantity work
It’s always like that previous job was better than the current one
And expects the new job will be much better than this one
But what you get is a frustration level up to sun
Than you will again send the resignation like this one
This is all what I want to say
Have you completed all the formalities?
Filled the form and got it signed from department humanities (HR)
Once done you can take all your cash
But don’t refer others as they will follow you’re a*s.
At last I appreciate your contribution to the company
Even though there was not any….
You will keep a copy of this with you for FYI
Don’t feel shy
As I also got it some time back from my old manger say Hi….
That is all what I want to say.
Thanks & Regards
Manager