By the time the soldier pulled into the little town, every hotel room was taken. “You’ve got to have a room somewhere”, he pleaded with a proprietor. “Well, I do have a double room with one occupant, but he is an Air Force guy” admitted the manager, and he might be glad to split the cost. But to tell you the truth, he snores so loudly that people in adjoining rooms have complained in the past. I’m not sure it’d be worth it to you.
” No problem.” the tired Army guy assured him, “I’ll take it.” The next morning the soldier came down to breakfasts bright-eyed and bushy tailed. “How’d you sleep?” asked the manager. “Never better”, said the soldier. The manager was impressed. “No problem with the other guy snoring all night long?” “No, I shut him up in no time”, explained the soldier.
“How’d you manage that?” asked the proprietor.
“Well, he was already in bed, snoring away, when I walked into the room, so I gave him a kiss on the cheek” explained the soldier. “Then, I whispered in his ear ‘Good night beautiful’, and he sat up all night watching me.”
Month: September 2006
“constantly talking is not better communication”
wow… i love this quote… stole this from eternal sunshine of the spotless mind.
High Security Zone
The moment my car lands on the office campus, the security will pounce on me. They use the mirrors to check the underbelly, they check the boot and check my id. They say its for my security. Checking id prevents unauthorized access and gear the company to fight terrorism.
Today I saw a stray dog in the campus. My question to them, did the dog produce the ID card at the gate? Was he/she/it also strip searched?
Why are Tipu’s rockets so famous?
The fighting at that time was primarily face to face. In the 18th Century, 2 armies stood shoulder to shoulder with rifles and muskets. It was basically a number game as it took almost 100 seconds to load the second shot.
Propellant chamber was 8” long with a diameter of 3” and capable of carried 1pound of gun powder. Being made of iron, they could develop humongous chamber pressure which gave them their famous 1mile range. The stabilizing rod was replaced by 2 feet long metallic blades.
You must have read accounts of 100 year war where the sky turned dark due to the showering arrows from English longbow men. Now (18th century) soldiers rarely carried shields or wore armor to protect them and instead of pointed arrows there were now swaying blades which slashed everything in its path. I do not want to even imagine the psychological effects of these flying scythes launched by invisible enemy. The metal chambers also exploded spreading incinerators all over. These ignited gunpowder arsenal near the cannons and sometimes even the gunpowder kegs tied over the abdomen of soldiers.
English longbow men rarely got a chance to fire their 5th arrow, while each one of the Tipu’s soldiers could launch 20 rockets simultaneously. Then they used to move to the next rack of rockets.
You might be tempted to compare it will a cannon. But cannons are heavy and are slow moving. They are few in number and expensive. This severely limited their effectiveness. You cannot ambush with a cannon, because they can be reused by the enemy.
On the other hand march 5 horsemen and set up a temporary rocket stand 1 mile away from the enemy camp. Fire 100 rockets and run away. I bet most of the surviving enemy will spend the rest of the night glazing towards the sky. An army which has not rested cannot attack.
These rockets were build during 1750, and the next generation practical rockets were V2 (WW2 1940). We had 200 years of technological lead.
counterfeit notes
Each day I hear stories of bundles of forged currency notes being confiscated. My question why take the pain. If you really want to make money, then don’t print currency notes, instead print Gift Coupons, print Sodexho.
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Logic
: Unlike most currency notes, these coupons have little or no hidden security measures. Printing them is rather simple, and merchants are virtually unaware of how to differentiate real from fake. Some high end gift coupons do have a hologram, but who looks at it. An cashier is too busy to even give it a second look.
Most interesting aspect is that the issuing company (esp. Sodexho) cannot deny reimbursement a merchant who hands them a fake coupon. If a merchant feels he is duped, he will stop accepting these coupons. This might start a spiraling effect of the whole city not accepting Sodexho. To prevent bad name, Sodexho will continue to accept the forged coupons and bear the losses.
You donot believe me, look at Telgi case. Government know that a large percentage of the land documents are on forged Stamp Paper, yet the Supreme Court has ordered the government to honor such agreements.
Miss Wormwood:”What state do you live in?”
Calvin :”Denial.”
That is the difference between me and the rest of the world… Happiness is not enough for me..I demand EUPHORIA.
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A fine is a tax for doing wrong.
A tax is a fine for doing well.
Minister caught without Ticket
UP Minister for Minorities Welfare and Haj, Mr Haji Yaqub Qureshi was caught traveling without ticket in AC1 compartment.
He could not produce his ticket, but the interesting thing was his words of defense.
1)This is part of a political conspiracy.
2)I am being harassed.
3)Finally: How dare you ask for my tickets, I will complain to the Center.
Why is it that doing one’s duty is that difficult? If the ministers themselves do not follow the rules, then why do they expect us to do the same.
The beauty of modern wars is that it is not fought for traditional monetary or imperialistic gains, but to consolidate leadership. Look at Iraq war, Kargil war, or Israel war. Both sides proclaimed victory and leaders gain popularity.
Dictators and incompetent leaders use wars to stop people from questioning their competency, asking for basic necessities like food, water and roads.
Hence we have come to an era where wars are used to arouse nationalistic feelings, unite ones own people and curb domestic opposition.
Then definatately do not read this article
The probability of people surviving an aerial mishap is miniscule. And please do not even think about lightning bolts, meteorite showers.
Are you breaking up with me?
I have had countless guy friends, and but on no occasion I had to tell them “I do not want to see you anymore!” Like a guy’s positronic mind all his relations are on a continuous radio-active decay path. Without any reinforcements/upgrades they deteriorate naturally. If I do not like someone, I will ignore him on a couple of occasions and the message gets across automatically. It’s a well defined spec, a protocol which prevents us to use of harsh words. Breaking up is like firing someone for the job of being a part of your life. And nobody wants to be a hatchet-man.
How wonderful it would be if someone could implement “Out of sight, Out of mind!” protocol in females.
Sometimes you end up in a relationship because “you are afraid of admitting the problem, and are too scared to walk away.”