Month: January 2007

The older, wiser man was giving advice to a younger bridegroom. “Well, friend, from now on you’re going to have to think twice before you leave your wife alone at night,”
he said. “I guess so,” replied the bridegroom.
His buddy continued, “First, you’ll have to think up a reason for going out and, second, you’ll have to think up a reason why she can’t go along!”
—-
Fence

One day a farmer called up an engineer, a physicist, and a mathematician and asked them to fence of the largest possible area with the least amount of fence.
The engineer made the fence in a circle and proclaimed that he had the most efficient design.
The physicist made a long, straight line and proclaimed “We can assume the length is infinite…” and pointed out that fencing off half of the Earth was certainly a more efficient way to do it.
The Mathematician just laughed at them. He built a tiny fence around himself and said “I define myself to be on the
outside.”

Another forward worth sharing.
1. A bicycle can’t stand alone; it is two tired.

2. A will is a dead giveaway.

3. Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.

4. A backward poet writes inverse.

5. In a democracy, it’s your vote that counts; in feudalism, it’s your Count that votes.

6. A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.

7. Pay your exorcist’s bill or you will be repossessed.

8. With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

9. Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I’ll show you A-flat miner.

10. When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.

11. The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.

12. A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France resulted in linoleum Blownapart.

13. You are stuck with your debt if you can’t budge it.

14. Local Area Network in Australia: The LAN down under.

15. He broke into song because he couldn’t find the key.

16. A calendar’s days are numbered.

17. A lot of money is tainted: ‘Taint yours, ‘taint mine.

18. A boiled egg is hard to beat.

19. He had a photographic memory which was never developed.

20. A plateau is a high form of flattery.

21. The short fortune teller who escaped from prison: a small medium at large.

22. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.

23. When you’ve seen one shopping center, you’ve seen a mall.

24. If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine.

25. When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she’d dye.

26. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.

27. Santa’s helpers are subordinate clauses.

28. Acupuncture: a jab well done.

29. Marathon runners with bad shoes suffer the agony of de feet.

30. It is better to have loved a short woman than never to have loved a tall.

Note: No trees were killed in sending this message, but a large number of electrons were inconvenienced.

Can anyone explain me the meaning of 10th and 11th lines?

Two men sank into adjacent train seats after a long day at work. One asked the other, “Did your son go back to college yet?”
“Yep. Two days ago.”
“Hmm. Mine’s a senior this year, so it’s almost over. In May, he’ll be an engineer.”
“What’s your son going to be when he gets out of college?”
“At the rate he’s going, he’ll be about thirty.”
“No, I mean what’s he taking in college?”
“Every penny I have.”
“Doesn’t he burn the midnight oil?”
“He doesn’t get in early enough to burn the midnight oil.”
“Surely sending him to college has some benefit?”
“Well, it has cured his mother of bragging about him!”