Month: September 2007

Humor

New store

Two businessmen were taking a break while setting up their soon-to-open store’s shelving units. There they sat, in the middle of nothing but empty shelves. One said, “I bet any minute now some smart aleck will stick his head in the door and ask what we’re selling.”
Within minutes, a man did just that, “Hey, boys. Whacha sellin’?”
One businessmen responded sarcastically, “We’re selling a$$holes.”
Without missing a beat, he rejoined, “Looks like business is good; ya only got two left!”
—-

A Sindhi calls up the Times of India office and wants to place an Obituary for his dead grandfather … the conversation went as below:

Sindhi: How much does it cost to print an Obituary in Sunday edition of the Times of India?
Help Desk (TOI): Sir, we charge Rupees 50 per word.
Sindhi: (Thinking)… Hmmm… Wari likho ni… “DADA DEAD”.
Help Desk (TOI): Sir, you have to give a minimum of five words.
Sindhi: (Thinking harder)… Hmmm… Wari sochne do… hmmm likho ni… “DADA DEAD, HONDA FOR SALE”.
—-

How do they make holy water?
They boil the hell out of it.

Miscellaneous

The Success Principles

This is a extract from the book: Jack Canfield:

If you want to create the life of your dreams, then you are going to
have to take 100% responsibility for your life as well. That means
giving up all your excuses, all your victim stories, all the reasons
why you can’t and why you haven’t up until now, and all your blaming
of outside circumstances. You have to give them all up forever.

You have to take the position that you have always had the power to
make it different, to get it right, to produce the right result. For
whatever reason – ignorance, lack of awareness, fear, needing to be
right, the need to feel safe – you chose not to exercise that power.
Who knows why? It doesn’t matter. The past is the past. All that
matters now is that from this point forward you choose – that’s
right, it’s a choice – you chose to act as if (that’s all that’s
required – to act as if) you are 100% responsible for everything that
does or doesn’t happen to you.

If something doesn’t turn around as planned, you will ask
yourself, “How did I create that? What was I thinking? What were my
beliefs? What did I say or not say? What did I do or not do to create
that result? How did I get the other person to act that way? What do
I need to do differently next time to get the result I want?”

Know this formula : Event (E) + Response (R) = Outcome (O)

The basic idea is that every outcome you experience in life (whether
it is success or failure, wealth or poverty, health or illness,
intimacy or estrangement, joy or frustration) is the result of how
you have responded to an earlier event or events in your life.

If you don’t like the outcomes you are currently getting, there are
two basic choices you can make

1.You can blame the event (E) for your lack of outcome (O)
2.You can instead simply change your responses (R) to the events (E) –
the way things are – until you get the outcomes (O) you want

“IF YOU DON’T LIKE YOUR OUTCOMES CHANGE YOUR RESPONSES”

Also you can hear a 20 minute audio on this book.

Thoughts

Is it time for a change ?

A few weeks ago , there was a major mishap which left the survivors feeling guilty, angry, remorseful, helpless, and confused.
A star student with a promising career in the IT field and the man she was living with committed suicide by laying on railway tracks in the outskirts of the city.
The reason..
The couple could not take the criticisms and disapproval of their respective families and immediate circle of friends .
Its not the usual case of a young couple falling in love and facing the wrath of the parents.
This case is all the more complicated because the man involved is already married with 2 young children. His wife is unemployed and is dependent on him for maintenance. He has deserted her to live with this girl whom he had fallen for.
To add insult to injury , this man was the girl’s professor in college and had resigned his job and moved to the city where the girl worked , to live with her.
There has been severe opposition and threats from the girl’s family and none had approved of the relationship.
There is nothing concrete known about the event that triggered this decision but there is speculation that the man’s wife had filed a case and the girl’s father demanded that she resign her job and return to her home-town.
It took some time for me to come to terms with this shocking news, as I had known about this for quite sometime now and had even expressed my views to my friend that she is stupid to have got into such a relationship and that he is using her.

But there are a few things that puzzle me:
1. Who is to be blamed for this ?
the society and the family who did not understand their commitment or the deceased who were cowardly and took the easy way out ?
2. Now that they have proved that they meant something to each other, can we understand and approve such illicit relationships ?
3. why do people who have the courage to get into such relationships do not have the courage to make it work ?
Whatever the reasons, one side-effect of this incident is that , it left me a lot less judgmental. Maybe its time we understood these out of the ordinary relationships and be more tolerant towards them..
After all ,it seems like the heart is a crazy thing with a mind of its own.

News

BJP/VHP Issues Fatwa against Karunanidhi

Post author By Ankur
Post date September 21, 2007
10 Comments on BJP/VHP Issues Fatwa against Karunanidhi

The VHP kendriya margdarshak mandal leader and two-time BJP Lok Sabha member issued the ‘fatwa’ in Ayodhya in which he said whosoever chopped off the head and tongue of the DMK president would be gifted with gold by the saints of Ayodhya.

– Source

My questions:
1) I do not know the legality of fatwa, but doesn’t this constitute as a threat, attempt of murder, and hiring assasins for a cold blooded murder? If so why is not this BJP MP not arrested for death threat?
2) By issuing fatwa, doesn’t VHP becomes exactly the organization that they truly hate?

Investing

Standing Instructions

Often we instruct our telephone/mobile company to automatically deduct via ECS the outstanding bills. Its a major convenience, as it saves us from the hassle for remembering to pay the bill and standing the queue for it. But one must also remember, it could be a trap. Like the Hutch’s Pay by Card Enrollment Form has the following printed clause:

I also agree for an interim charge to my account on any unbilled amount, at the discretion of Hustchison Essar South Limited.

Isn’t it as good as writing a blank cheque… sorry signing a blank cheque book.. for the instruction is Recurring.

Thoughts

Medical Tourism

My friend and I are very bullish about the prospects of Medical Tourism in India, and that is the reason why we have invested in Apollo Hospitals. He recently wrote a short blogpost on it. Although I share his optimism about it, but I am still very skeptic about some of the assertions which he made… esp. about how it impacts the rest of the Nation.

Firstly, World over medical tourism is restricted to a niche of planned surgery. People do not go abroad for a routine check-up/diagnosis. So if India becomes a medical tourism destination, then I do not see the benefits going beyond the department of surgery. However for most people proper health care means good diagnosis by a general practitioners. So even for those who can afford, benefits would be limited.

Secondly, the foreign Insurance companies cannot ship anybody just anywhere. For a hospital to receive international patients, it has to not only 25% better than the rest, but also need to have certificates and documentary proofs to assert the same. After all, we might compromise on the quality of grocery we purchase, but nobody like to compromise their health to save a few pennies. This means that the hospitals would need to have trained staff with not only internationally recognized degrees, but would have to send them to seminars and constantly keep them abreast with the latest in the medical world. The hospital facilities would have to be ramped up from things that are visible like latest equipments to things which we do not notice like proper waste disposal and sanitization. This is a multi million dollar investment, and I do not see this happening in too many hospitals too soon, and even if it happens, the facilities would be near international airports (6-10 cities at max). So bulk of the billion population would only look at the facilities and sulk.

In USA, the doctors have to quarantine patients for almost every communicable disease (like malaria, and dengue), what they expect and how they treat is greatly different from what is widely expected by doctors in India. So unless the doctors practice some sort of double standards, I do not think the same hospital can satisfy both Indian and International patients.

However all said and done, this revolution would greatly benefit the country. Apart from boosting our ego, it would earn us a lot of precious foreign currency, greatly increase the standards as well as investments in the field of medicine. Also one of the biggest complaint of doctors is that there are not sufficient training institutes and their salaries have not kept pace with the booming IT/ITES/BPO and retail sectors. So this is probably their chance to improve the job satisfaction.

PS: I have no background in the field of medicine… so all the readers of ENagar, esp. doctors are humbly requested to help me refine my thoughts.

only big hospitals who can afford latest surgery equipment

IPO

IPO: Koutons Retail India

Issue opens: Sept 18, 2007
Issue closes: Sept 21, 2007
Issue Price: Rs 370-415 per equity share of Rs 10 each in lots of 15 shares
Issue Size: 3,524,439 equity shares of Rs 10 each (of a total capital base of 30,551,397 equity shares of Rs 10 each)

Strengths:
1) Koutons looks like an attractive company with over a 1000 company managed stores and 18 manufacturing units.
2) If I compare its pricing with Raymonds and other garment companies with COFO (company owned franchise operated) retail centers, the pricing looks attractive.
3) By designing, manufacturing, distribution and as well as sales under the same flagship, the company is able to cut a lot of costs.
4) Huge sales per store due to hefty discounts offered by the stores.

Weakness:
1) I doubt weather the COFO model can work in the long run. Opening up manufacturing as well as retail outlets needs huge capital investments and hence limits the company’s ability to expand fast, as well as react to the changing market scenario.
2) Its unlikely that the company will be able to distribute from the multibrand shops and malls. This shuts it off from a major business opportunity and capitalize on the retail revolution.
3) INVENTORY TROUBLE: against a sales of Rs 402.40 crore, the inventory stood at Rs 373.84 crore. That is a whooping 340 days of inventory. In garment/fashion industry, you cannot stock for 340 days… primarily because the kind of stock which is sold, depends on the season.
4) Low Brand Value: Kouton’s stores only stock their own brands and perennial 70% discounts have completely eroded its brand value. This will prevent the company to move up the value chain.

Analysis:
I am very skeptical about the Company owned retail model. Its primarily because it involves huge capital investments, inventory problems and limits the enterprise’s ability to survive a business cycles. The company has been growing at a rapid pace, and if you are bullish about retail industry, then this might be a good company to invest in. But I would try to be away from a company who maintains 340 days of inventory and pushes sales by offering 70% discounts all year round.

Humor

BCCI Inbox

For the fans and followers of Indian cricket and its bumbling administration.

BCCI Inbox Spoof

Investing

Advance Tax (Income Tax)

Government of India expects its citizens to pay advance income tax every quarter otherwise it charges 1% per month of interest penalty. However to save us from the hassle of going to Income Tax office 4 times every year, SBI (State Bank of India) has come up with a wonderful online gateway.

To pay the tax, click the SBI E-tax (left button) -> Direct Taxes (OLTAS) -> CHALLAN NO./ITNS 280.
Then fill in your particulars, and proceed to your bank website (works only if you have an account in HDFC, IDBI, SBI and Union Bank of India.

No more queues 🙂

Humor

appraisal letter

There was a contest in TCS to write a fictional story for 500 words max which would start with the line :

“On a dark and foggy night, a small figure lay huddled on the railway tracks leading to the Chennai station ”

This is what a guy wrote for the contest……. and surprisingly, it was adjudged the best short story :))

On a dark and foggy night, a small figure lay huddled on the railway tracks leading to the Chennai station. At once I was held back to see someone in that position during midnight with no one around. With curiosity taking the front seat, I went near the body and tried to investigate it. There was blood all over the body which was lying face down.

It seemed that a ruthless blow by the last train could have caused the end of this body which seemed to be that of a guy of around my age. Amidst the gory blood flow, I could see a folded white envelope which was fluttering in the midnight wind. Carefully I took the blood stained envelope and was surprised to see the phrase “appraisal letter” on it.

With curiosity rising every moment, I wasted no time in opening the envelope to see if I can find some details about the dead guy. The tag around the body’s neck and the jazzy appraisal cover gave me the hint that he might be a software engineer. I opened the envelope to find a shining paper on which the appraisal details where typed in flying colors. Thunders broke into my ears and lightening struck my heart when I saw the appraisal amount of the dead guy!!!!! My God, it was not even, as much as the cost of the letter on which the appraisal details were printed….

My heart poured out for the guy and huge calls were heard inside my mind saying “no wonder, this guy died such a miserable death”… As a fellow worker in the same industry, I thought I should mourn f or him for the sake of respect and stood there with a hea! vy heart thinking of the shock that he would have experienced when his manager had placed the appraisal letter in his hand. I am sure his heart would have stopped and eyes would have gone blank for few seconds looking at the near to nothing increment in his salary.

While I mourned for him, for a second my hands froze to see the employee’s name in the appraisal letter… hey, what a strange co-incidence, this guy’s name is same as mine, including the initials. This was interesting. With some mental strength, I turned the body upside down and found myself fainted for a second. The guy not only had my name, but also looked exactly like me. Same looks, same built, same name…. it was me who was dead there!!!!!!!!

While I was lost in that shock, I felt someone patting on my shoulders. My heart stopped completely, I could not breathe and sprung in fear to see who was behind……… splash!!! Went the glass of water on my laptop screen as I came out of my wild dream to see my manager standing behind my chair patting on my shoulder saying, “wake up man? Come to meeting room number two. I have your appraisal letter ready”.

Forwarded by Savitha.