1. I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I
fail to get the position. Be prepared for my mood.
2. You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out
of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn’t have received anything
3. I will be unable to delete all the unread, worthless emails you
send me until I return from holiday on 4 April. Please be patient and your
mail will be deleted in the order it was received.
4. Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged
£5.99 for the first ten words and £1.99 for each additional word in your
5. The e-mail server is unable to verify your server connection and
is unable to deliver this message. Please restart your computer and try
sending again.'(The beauty of this is that when you return, you can see how
many in-duh-viduals did this over and over).
6. Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing
system..You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply
in approximately 19 weeks.
AND, FINALLY, THIS ONE TAKES THE CAKE:
7. I will be out of the office for the next 2 weeks for medical
reasons…when I return, please refer to me as ‘Sushma’ instead of