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Boy or a Girl?

In India birth of a male kid is a moment of rejoice and often that of a female is a moment of sorrow. Coupled with the fact that a lot of families have to shell out a fortune as dowry, its not surprising that a lot of families (poor and rich alike) get rid of the female kid. Some go for UltraSound Scans and opt for PreNatal Termination of Fetus, while others drown/freeze/suffocate their female newborn within a few hours of its birth. Infact these acts are so popular that they have become one of the many services which the midwives provide.

This act sounds so barbaric that people are demanding equal rights for the unborn and capital punishment for the medical practitioners who assist the misguided couples in this act.

I think all the readers here agree that the moment the egg is fertilized, one should start treating it as an individual. Irrespective of its gender, that cell has an equal right to grow up into an adult. And since in nature there is a 50-50 chance of either sex, the sex balance of the world would be maintained.

However what if the technology empowers you to modify this odds in your favor? As a matter of fact MicroSort can increase the odds of conceiving a girl to 91% and that of a boy to 76%. All this for a paltry sum of $3400. (fees are expected to fall as more and more people adopt this technology)

My questions: I agree that misuse of this technology can cause gender imbalances and can disrupt the equilibrium of the society. But is the couple using this technology committing a crime? And if so is it as cynical as PreNatal termination of fetus? or using this technology is a choice which free men are free to opt for? Does Government has the right to ban this technology?

26 replies on “Boy or a Girl?”

In my honest opinion people should not have kids if they are stressed about its gender. Adopting a kid of the gender they prefer is a more humane idea along with using contraceptives to avoid conceiving an unwanted child. The idea of playing with the natural processes of the reproductive cycle is absolutely freaky. I can’t understand how people disconnect themselves from their own bodies and view things in so detached a manner as to be able to manipulate and re-structure the very thing that gives them any expression at all. It’s not only about the social equilibrium being disrupted, it is also about losing one’s own mental balance when one alienates the human mind from nature and biology. Possibilities and experiments are one thing but turning these into options for our daily lives becomes a dangerous issue for several reasons.

I don’t know whether the government should allow or disallow technology that can influence the sex of a child to be born. I myself would vote against it. I don’t see the sense in risking having your own child if there is a chance you will hate it enough to kill it. Especially when there are so many orphans (of all shapes, colours, sizes, types) available for adoption in the gender of the couple’s preference…

I’d say it’s less of a crime to influence the sex of the unconceived child than to murder the child in the womb or the newborn or the infant. But I don’t think I would be very comfortable if my parents told me that they used such technology to make sure only a girl would be born. Can you imagine the possibility of being alive only because some technology ensured you were of the sex your parents wanted you to be? Can you imagine that your parents have the hearts of murderers and it’s not because of their love for you, but because of some technology that they didn’t go through with killing you at birth or before birth.

Maybe I am being a bit dramatic but those are my real thoughts on this. I’m happy to be a girl and I’m glad that my parents are also happy. It would be weird if I was a girl only if they didn’t want me to be a boy. And it would be weirder still if I should have been a girl but I became a boy cos they made me a boy.

*Shudder*

🙂
Aridhi

India is a country with maximum number of laws…why increase one more?? I think its individual who decide how to live their life, and how to live a life is more decided by the people who lives around us. This gender difference will go only when people will believe that be it a gal or a guy its a part of them who is equal. No law or any short of external enforcement will work this should come form within a person.

When it comes to killing a child i feel that its equal to murder…be it after birth of as fetus.

But I think one part of country is changing they are ok with having gal child…another part which is still more traditional and have not seen much of world are catching up when it comes to bringing a girl child in a better way. slowly may be we can find the change in the country. definitely in todays world more female are surviving than they were 10 years ago…

so hope that one day its not gals who will have more option in choosing the guys as the number of guys are always more than number of gals 😉

@Aridhi…
i agree that killing a child is a sin, and this technology is freaky… but i have seen a lot of couples who have some reservations against adoption. primarily because no matter how early you adopt the kid.. they still feel it is not a part of them… but as u said society is changing.. and hopefully for good.

@rash…
yes india has too many laws.. and another law will only worsen the situation.. for no matter what people will find ways to circumvent it.
i guess i also agree with you when you say that the best weapon against such technologically aided gender selection would be female empowerment..
unless a girl kid is treated with equal rights… the gender equilibrium will never be restored.

I kind of agree with Aridhi here. It’s better to be able to decide the sex of the child than to have a child which nobody wants.

However, I think the story here would be incomplete if we wouldn’t also include the impact of anti- abortion laws. Frankly speaking, I don’t know the situation in India, but in the US, there are many states where women are not allowed to abort the child, which I think is unfair in one way. What if the woman never wanted to get pregnant? What if she can’t afford raising the kid? Teenage pregnancy is a big issue here and every single time I step into a mall, I see hundreds of women who are not more than 20, carrying at least two kids. Most of the times, they are single mothers, who work two 8 hour shifts to support their kids. They also drop out of college because they can’t afford getting a bachelor’s degree in addition to raising kids.

Of course, there is considerable amount of govt aid available for single moms, but that’s not enough, believe me. I have a couple of friends who are in this situation and I feel really sorry for them.

My question is – Why should a single piece of legislation made by the Govt decide the actions of the people? Why can’t they leave it to us to figure out what’s best.

We have dowry laws in India. But does anybody even follow them? It’s not even binding. Even the Hindu Marriage Act that prohibits marriage below 18 is not binding. Why make laws that are not effective?

I think India has a bigger problem at hands and that is, population control. If the govt doesn’t do anything about that, then the country is doomed, however much the IT industry might grow.

I think I’m more with Pragati here but the thing is, if people are going to kill their babies after they’re born, especially like that, then early term abortion is so much better. Ideally one would be able to stop people from gender selection but realistically speaking that’s not something that you can do overnight. And if one goes on trying for that elusive boy child in spite of one’s financial status, everybody just loses. Plus, if people really want to have an abortion, they’ll find ways of doing it – and without a licensed practitioner that might just end up killing the mother.

No easy answers. 🙁

Absolutely sex determination of any sorts should NOT be resorted to. Look at punjab where the boys are literally hunting down girls as their numbers are dwindling…

In india we have a method to beat any rule… so NGO’s need to slowly educate and hope in next 30 years some progress is made.

A very very good post which educates people on issues. thanks.mohan!

I agree females should have every right to abort the unborn if they are financially, emotionally or mentally not prepared to take the burden (but i am strongly against aborting a kid after you run the sex determination tests)
Its better not to have a kid then to bring it up in an hostile environment or even worse give it up for foster care the day it was born.

//Why should a single piece of legislation made by the Govt decide the actions of the people?//
As Mohan rightly pointed out we have about 720 females for ever 1000 males in Harayana and Punjab. this skewed sex ratio is leading to a lot of social distress and other problems…

Plus when you add to the fact that Indians (esp Hindus) are cruel and barbaric… if there is no legislation these UltraSound clinics would end up becoming a butcher shop.

//population control//
its a proven fact that whenever people live in hardship, (low literacy, not enough to eat, very few avenues to move up the social ladder, poor access to medical and health care etc.) they conceive more kids.. the logical explanation is that they see the kids as an investment.. an insurance that the parents would be taken care of when they grow old.
so i think as the education spreads (yes 1/3 of the country cannot even read or write their own name) and there is more awareness and helathcare.. the population will start stabilizing… else we can always wait for Hindu Jihadis (RSS) to start another round of ethnic cleansing and actually cause a dip in the population.

@Amrita…
I agree that everyone loses if the couple goes after that elusive boy child… but still it just does not feel right to allow parents to choose the sex of the kid.

@mohan..
thanks. i still feel 30 years is a very long time and by that time we might distort the ratio beyond repair.. unless of course there is a WW-III and the equilibrium is reestablished.

Yeah, I kind of agree with you Ankur. However, only spreading education won’t do. If that is the only method India relies upon, then it will take another 50 years for anything to happen. We need to borrow a chapter from China and introduce strict, binding legislative controls. Of course, poverty is a big factor. It’s like a vicious cycle.

@pragati…
Education has been one of my pet topics… ( you will find atleast 10-15 posts on it) because i feel it empowers us.. it empowers us to think, take decisions, ask questions, convince and challenge the wrongs around… so it will not only solve the problem of population, but an entire gamut of socio-economic issues also.

Since it takes 12 years to give basic education and even that is a drop in the ocean… then a lot of work needs to be done to build the infrastructure of schools and teachers, encourage kids to go to school etc.. it might take about 2-3 decades (maybe even 50 years) but it will be the only lasting solution.

//borrow a chapter from China//
actually we tried that… Indira Gandhi.. Emergency!!! Sterilization Drive!!!
I am surprised for a girl who just recently said government has no business to enact laws to govern what is right and what not… u are advocating it…
I am strongly and rigidly against such a move… However government is free to give incentives for family planning (like enhanced allocation for PDS, tax or other monetary gains)

Oh well, Indira Gandhi was Indira Gandhi. She did lots of other things too. We can write an entire post on her 🙂

[I am surprised for a girl who just recently said government has no business to enact laws to govern what is right and what not… u are advocating it…]

The thing is, the population is one of India’s biggest concerns now. Educating more people will help to a great extent, I agree. But the process will be a long one and will take a couple of decades (like you said). China started educating the population a long time back.

When I said that the Govt. shouldn’t be dictating what the country should/shouldn’t do, I was talking about anti-abortion policies, which I think is a different case compared to our population control problem. How else will the problem be solved? Till now, the Govt did leave it up to the people to procreate as much as they want to, and we can see the result. Besides, China certainly isn’t the first country to enact such rules. I think it would do our country more good than more harm at least in this case. It will only take another couple of years before we overtake China in population, and look at the area of India compared to China! There was a cover story in Business Week only a couple of weeks back that discussed these problems in details. I mean, we could go on and on. Please tell me if I am wrong 🙂

I don’t intend to carry the conversation in another direction, because the original post was about child sex discrimination 🙂 So, sorry about that.

//We can write an entire post on her :)//
Indira Gandhi.. hmmm… great idea.. i would love to read that… unfortunately i was not born in the 70ies so have not much to add… but i can surely help you with some references.

//the population is one of India’s biggest concerns now.//
i think its the illiteracy.. but ya population is a big problem.

//the process will be a long one and will take a couple of decades (like you said).//
ya.. but should that stop us from concentration our efforts there

//When I said that the Govt. shouldn’t be dictating what the country should/shouldn’t do, I was talking about anti-abortion policies,//
its the same thing… u cannot conveniently what govt can should and what not based on what suits u… either government can dictate the birth or it cannot… the grey area is always the most painful.

//Till now, the Govt did leave it up to the people to procreate as much as they want to, and we can see the result.//
and yes indians love to spread their wild oats all over the place 😀 jokes apart… it is a serious problem but government can only give/take back incentives for family planning.. and not use the iron fist in such matters. but then this is my personal opinion.

//I don’t intend to carry the conversation in another direction, //
this space is for discussing things that matter… and we are rightly doing that 🙂 so your comments are always welcome 🙂

Aridhi has articulated her thoughts very well. I can’t justify a mother killing a child just because she is a female. Unfortunately female foeticide is a reality. If technology makes it easier for parents to select the gender of an unborn child then the gender imbalance could create a lot of sociological problems.The only way out to improve this imbalance is by empowering the female population by educating them.
I won’t agree with borrowing a capter from China because they have succeeded in slowing down population growth but they are facing problems now. The no of senior citizens outnumbers the young citizens and that is a cause for worry for them.

@prerna
yes idea population distribution is a myth now. (females slightly outnumbering the males and able bodied men slightly outnumbering the dependents)

//The no of senior citizens outnumbers the young citizens and that is a cause for worry for them.//
with baby boomer beginning to retire… even the rest of the developed world is facing the same aging problem.
While in some countries (Canada) the population have started to shrink (without any wars, epidemic or calamity)

However Africa is facing a totally reverse problem… AIDS and poor medical facilities has resulted in low life expectancy. Hence now the kids outnumber the bread winners.

[Indira Gandhi.. hmmm… great idea.. i would love to read that… unfortunately i was not born in the 70ies so have not much to add… but i can surely help you with some references.]

I was born in the year ’84- when she died 😛 Why don’t you write the whole post? Just kidding.

It was great having this discussion with you 🙂 Hope I didn’t piss you off.

//My questions: I agree that misuse of this technology can cause gender imbalances and can disrupt the equilibrium of the society. But is the couple using this technology committing a crime? And if so is it as cynical as PreNatal termination of fetus? or using this technology is a choice which free men are free to opt for? Does Government has the right to ban this technology? //

This practice would definitely bring an imbalance in the already lopsided gender ratio in the country.

As for couples practicing this method, they are committing a crime both legally and morally. I would not say it is wrong to interfere with nature , but ethically it puts such parents in the lowest rung. Parents should welcome ANY child with open arms and every child has a right to be cherished and nurtured without bias. If this trend continues , it will pave way for ‘designer babies’ and it would make the world a very uninteresting mundane place. Those apart , it would surely lead to various social problems and crimes.

And what kind of finicky people are they anyways ? In case they do not like what they got , will they change their mind and throw the baby out ? And how would a child born to such idiotic parents be , a chip of the old block ? another screwed up character !

Is is as cynical as prenatal termination of pregnancy ?…one is an extension of another.

The first step is conceiving selectively , those ppl would definitely want to check the sex of the fetus by an ultrasound and in case its not the desired result would opt for MTP. So in what way are they different ? The parents going for MTPs after sex determination would opt for sex selection as a futile effort to massage their almost absent conscience. But their intentions are one and the same.

which free men are free to opt for?//

Left to their own devices , free men would opt for lots of convenient arrangements.

When a society is going to dogs by adopting self damaging practices , its for the community that is aware of the problem to shun that practice and badger some sense in the minds of such mislead people.

Does Govt. have the right to ban the technology ?

Ofcourse it does ! What is detrimental to the society has to be banned and the ppl involved penalised.

I am happy our legislature has taken a firm stand in this matter and it has scared the daylights out of unscrupulous medical practitioners and sonographers .

PRE-NATAL DIAGNOSTIC TECHNIQUES (REGULATION AND PREVENTION OF MISUSE) AMENDMENT ACT, 2002

“An Act to provide for the prohibition of sex selection, before or after conception, and for regulation of pre-natal diagnostic techniques for the purposes of detecting genetic abnormalities or metabolic disorders or chromosomal abnormalities or certain congenital malformations or sex-linked disorders and for the prevention of their misuse for sex determination leading to female foeticide and for matters connected therewith or incidental thereto.”.

“sex selection” includes any procedure, technique, test or administration or prescription or provision of anything for the purpose of ensuring or increasing the probability that an embryo will be of a particular sex;

Removing samples of tissue or fluid of a man, or of a woman before or after conception, for being sent to a Genetic Laboratory for sex determination is prohibited and also advertisements for such a procedure is banned by this act .

My stand on this procedure would be , sex selection for any reason violates natural law, rational justice and the inherent DIGNITY of human beings.

@sree
i was missing your comments on this post 🙂

//As for couples practicing this method, they are committing a crime both legally and morally.//
how is it a legal crime? nobody was harmed… just a few unwanted sperms were flushed down… but i guess by now they know their probability is 1 in a few millions.

// I would not say it is wrong to interfere with nature , but ethically it puts such parents in the lowest rung.//
actually people all over are talking about designer genes, designer kids etc…. and technology fans are just welcoming it.. i perceive this as the first phase of us getting the designer kids. but the the beauty of the world is its diversity.. we have brainy guys, we have creative guys, we have smart guys and beautiful bimbos.. if all were merged into one.. it will be like the set of a sci-fi movie where the entire world wears the same uniform and looks exactly alike.

//And what kind of finicky people are they anyways ?//
even worse there is a 76% probability.. so even if everything goes through… 1 in every 4 kid would be a girl… and would be born in an unwanted home.

//a child born to such idiotic parents be , a chip of the old block ? another screwed up character !//
yups i was reading about psychopaths, Multiple personality disorder and all other psychiatric illness, and most of them could be traced to parenting and childhood. 🙁

//The first step is conceiving selectively , those ppl would definitely want to check the sex of the fetus by an ultrasound and in case its not the desired result would opt for MTP. So in what way are they different ?//
the incidence of MTP is reduced…. and chance plays a lower role.

//But their intentions are one and the same.//
ya but isn’t it a less barbaric act?

//Left to their own devices , free men would opt for lots of convenient arrangements.//
i doubt that.. i see far too less live in cases then what i would have expected.

//Does Govt. have the right to ban the technology ?

Ofcourse it does ! What is detrimental to the society has to be banned and the ppl involved penalised.//
ya but isn’t it interfering with the freewill of the parents… plus what good it would do to the child rasied in hostile env.?

//PRE-NATAL DIAGNOSTIC TECHNIQUES (REGULATION AND PREVENTION OF MISUSE) AMENDMENT ACT, 2002

“An Act to provide for the prohibition of sex selection, before or after conception, …//
i never knew it was already banned… but i am sure a lot of people could just hop to SE Asia, nepal, columbo etc and get what they want 🙁

//My stand on this procedure would be , sex selection for any reason violates natural law, rational justice and the inherent DIGNITY of human beings.//
🙂 atleast u r clear where u stand.. i am confused.. on one side i feel it is unethical.. on the other side i feel it is much better then giving up the unwanted child or ever worse… raising a child which nobody in the family wants 🙁

i was missing your comments on this post //
I read it yesterday but was very doubtful abt the legal part..infact I got various feedback from lawyers 🙂
Its a good post Ankur with a new angle in addressing the problem.

how is it a legal crime? nobody was harmed… //
its the very practice that is a crime..an injustice to the unborn child. why cant we see it as an obstruction to the right of birth of male/female child that was avoided ?

just a few unwanted sperms were flushed down… but i guess by now they know their probability is 1 in a few millions. //
:)) c’mon , technology has improved so much..u can do away with these unwanted stuff completely

actually people all over are talking about designer genes, designer kids etc…. and technology fans are just welcoming it.. i perceive this as the first phase of us getting the designer kids. //
yes..I get my designer sarees with the same passion I’d get my ‘designer kid’ and most of the time my saree goes ‘out of fashion’ and I donate it….shd I do that to my kid too ? afterall its ‘out dated’ now !

but the the beauty of the world is its diversity.. we have brainy guys, we have creative guys, we have smart guys and beautiful bimbos.. if all were merged into one.. it will be like the set of a sci- fi movie where the entire world wears the same uniform and looks exactly alike. //
yes..and whatever will a guy like u do without the brainy gals :))

even worse there is a 76% probability.. so even if everything goes through… 1 in every 4 kid would be a girl… and would be born in an unwanted home. //
So ppl shd be taught to limit the number of kids and just be happy with whatever kids they have.
Its the number of kids that’s more important than the sex of the kids…if a family can support 2 boys or a boy and a girl..it can very well support 2 girls.

//yups i was reading about psychopaths, Multiple personality disorder and all other psychiatric illness, and most of them could be traced to parenting and childhood. //
and atittude…a kid that is brought up in a hypocritical enviroment turns out a hypocrite.

the incidence of MTP is reduced…. and chance plays a lower role. //
This is not a solution to the problem . The very act of infesting the society with these ‘choices’ would pose a serious problem in the long run.

//But their intentions are one and the same.//
ya but isn’t it a less barbaric act? //
just bcos a surgical procedure is involved it sounds ‘barbaric’..what abt atittude ? what about the very idea of not wanting a girl or a boy ? Is’nt that inhuman ?
what if a MTP is done to save the mother or if she is a unwed mother or if she is a victim of rape or simply bcos the couple have decided that its not the rt time ? Is’nt it barbaric then ?
Infact I would welcome it if she is either an unwed girl or if the pregnancy is a result of rape.

i doubt that.. i see far too less live in cases then what i would have expected.//
well..atleast what was easily available then has become accessible only to the rich.

ya but isn’t it interfering with the freewill of the parents… //
when freewill is going haywire it needs to be put on track.

plus what good it would do to the child rasied in hostile env.? //
it wont make an iota of a difference if the kid is ‘wanted’ or ‘unwanted’…the children brght up by these ppl wld never be well-adjusted kids . Whether it is hostile env. or not its def. not an ideal one .

i never knew it was already banned… but i am sure a lot of people could just hop to SE Asia, nepal, columbo etc and get what they want //
or switzerland…but there is a difference is buying my local mango and going for ‘kesari’ :))
atleast the craziness is limited to a moneyed few..and the only consolation is the procedure is hardly successful the first few times..and that puts off a lot of ppl going abroad for getting it done.

atleast u r clear where u stand.. i am confused.. //
that’s bcos u feel MTPs have to be avoided

on one side i feel it is unethical.. //
good

on the other side i feel it is much better then giving up the unwanted child or ever worse… raising a child which nobody in the family wants //
education is the only solution.

//infact I got various feedback from lawyers 🙂
Its a good post Ankur with a new angle in addressing the problem.//
thank you 🙂

//its the very practice that is a crime..an injustice to the unborn child. why cant we see it as an obstruction to the right of birth of male/female child that was avoided ?//
so u mean to say.. every woman/man who vows celibacy obstructs teh right of the unborn kids?

//:)) c’mon , technology has improved so much..u can do away with these unwanted stuff completely//
yups thats what the post about… sorting them.:D

//yes..I get my designer sarees with the same passion I’d get my ‘designer kid’ and most of the time my saree goes ‘out of fashion’ and I donate it….shd I do that to my kid too ? afterall its ‘out dated’ now !//
wow a red tag sale for such bright buy outdated kids =))

//if a family can support 2 boys or a boy and a girl..it can very well support 2 girls.//
u sure.. the marriage expenses r often a prohibitive cost.

//and atittude…a kid that is brought up in a hypocritical enviroment turns out a hypocrite.//
yups 🙁

//This is not a solution to the problem . The very act of infesting the society with these ‘choices’ would pose a serious problem in the long run.//
and hence i wrote the post.

//just bcos a surgical procedure is involved it sounds ‘barbaric’..what abt atittude ? what about the very idea of not wanting a girl or a boy ? Is’nt that inhuman ?//
ya i guess the girls need to mend their attitude.. otherwise why else would the parents not want them..

//what if a MTP is done to save the mother or if she is a unwed mother or if she is a victim of rape or simply bcos the couple have decided that its not the rt time ? Is’nt it barbaric then ?
Infact I would welcome it if she is either an unwed girl or if the pregnancy is a result of rape.//
i could quote some sermons from the pope.. but then that would be starting a religious war… but i agree it takes a lot of guts to raise a kid resulting from a rape… and i am not sure if there r many woman out here who can bear this burden.

//when freewill is going haywire it needs to be put on track.//
you can lead a horse to water, but cannot make it drink.

//it wont make an iota of a difference if the kid is ‘wanted’ or ‘unwanted’…the children brght up by these ppl wld never be well-adjusted kids . Whether it is hostile env. or not its def. not an ideal one .//
i have seen well educated families rearing their sons like princes and daughters like maids. and even worse brainwash her so that she thinks its her responsibility to take care and serve the other members of the family… even at the expense of her own education.

//or switzerland…but there is a difference is buying my local mango and going for ‘kesari’ :))
atleast the craziness is limited to a moneyed few..and the only consolation is the procedure is hardly successful the first few times..and that puts off a lot of ppl going abroad for getting it done.//
so u mean to say the rich can get away with anything.. while we poor would be bound by the laws of the land 🙁

#atleast u r clear where u stand.. i am confused.. //
that’s bcos u feel MTPs have to be avoided#
yups i have seen ladies going for multiple MTP.. and often in hands of quacks.. and sometimes in later stages.. which does a lot of harm to their bodies.

//education is the only solution.//
why is it that any social issue that i talk about ends up with it?

so u mean to say.. every woman/man who vows celibacy obstructs teh right of the unborn kids? //
=)) only u can come up with such a comparison !
Its like choosing to take either a brother or a sister on a vacation ! I’d feel guilty if I leave one and take another…but if one drops out and I land up with another…I know I have been fair.

If u give me an option that I can take only one..I’d let them decide.
Similarly u leave it to nature to decide which kid u’d be landing with.

yups thats what the post about… sorting them.:D //
I am sure u have heard of cloning…well I meant it can be completely avoided …not even the sorted ones are needed 🙂

wow a red tag sale for such bright buy outdated kids =)) //
maybe a wise person wld wait for when such a bright kid is given away 🙂
no diapers and no nocturnal tantrums :))

u sure.. the marriage expenses r often a prohibitive cost. //
the girl has to be independent and she can decide for herself if her marriage wld be an expense or an experience

and hence i wrote the post. //
and it is appreciated 🙂

ya i guess the girls need to mend their attitude.. otherwise why else would the parents not want them.. //
well…its akin to the weaklings joining with the villains 🙂
it takes a brave one to fight for justice 🙂

i could quote some sermons from the pope.. but then that would be starting a religious war… //
please !!! i dont care which religion says what about rape victims and the rape resulting in pregnancy….its the worst personal tresspass for a woman .

but i agree it takes a lot of guts to raise a kid resulting from a rape… and i am not sure if there r many woman out here who can bear this burden. //
I am surprised u call it ‘guts’ ! Lets not romantacise this crime . No woman should be encouraged to go throo with the pregnancy resulting from rape.

A victim shd be thoroughly taken care of physically and psychologically.

She shd be made to forget this ‘accident’ and carry on with her life.

There shd be no residue left from such a crime to remind her of it all the time.

you can lead a horse to water, but cannot make it drink. //
yes..but it may be a matter of time before it takes to it

i have seen well educated families rearing their sons like princes and daughters like maids. and even worse brainwash her so that she thinks its her responsibility to take care and serve the other members of the family… even at the expense of her own education. //
yes..its a sad state…but atleast a few steps forward by each generation will liberate the girls

so u mean to say the rich can get away with anything.. while we poor would be bound by the laws of the land //
well..its not just the moneyed…circumventing the law is done by the clever too ! but ya incase of laws like these , having money helps 🙁

yups i have seen ladies going for multiple MTP.. and often in hands of quacks.. and sometimes in later stages.. which does a lot of harm to their bodies. //
and sometimes it is done by quacks..it leaves permanent damage or even fatal sometimes . And most of the times the right anaesthesia is not used and I know a girl who opted to have an illegitimate child instead of an MTP as she was denied anaesthesia the previous time.

//education is the only solution.//
why is it that any social issue that i talk about ends up with it? //
maybe we think that’s a panacea !

//=)) only u can come up with such a comparison !//
:))

//the girl has to be independent and she can decide for herself if her marriage wld be an expense or an experience//
world over a girl’s marriage is big big expense (dowry or no dowry) 🙁

//well…its akin to the weaklings joining with the villains 🙂
it takes a brave one to fight for justice :)//
the plz stand up.

//I am surprised u call it ‘guts’ ! Lets not romantacise this crime . No woman should be encouraged to go throo with the pregnancy resulting from rape.//
its not my place to comment 🙁

//yes..its a sad state…but atleast a few steps forward by each generation will liberate the girls//
good i hope the road is not as long as the circumference of the earth.

//and sometimes it is done by quacks..it leaves permanent damage or even fatal sometimes . And most of the times the right anaesthesia is not used and I know a girl who opted to have an illegitimate child instead of an MTP as she was denied anaesthesia the previous time.//
🙁

//maybe we think that’s a panacea !//
probably

world over a girl’s marriage is big big expense (dowry or no dowry) //
yes..I always felt it was more of a show and a shameless display of wealth but it does’nt make a speck of difference in the girl’s life.

it takes a brave one to fight for justice :)//
the plz stand up. //
I love to say I am fighting it 🙁
I confess I know a few who had gone for MTP after sex determination , but had to keep my mouth shut 🙁

//I am surprised u call it ‘guts’ ! Lets not romantacise this crime . No woman should be encouraged to go throo with the pregnancy resulting from rape.//
its not my place to comment //
why not ? this is a social problem…I love to know why u feel that its ok for a rape victim to go throo with the pregnancy….becos try as I might ,did’nt get a single good reason.

good i hope the road is not as long as the circumference of the earth.//
hmm..I am keeping my fingers crossed !

//yes..I always felt it was more of a show and a shameless display of wealth but it does’nt make a speck of difference in the girl’s life.//
i thought it the girl’s dream to have a marriage which the entire town would remember

//I confess I know a few who had gone for MTP after sex determination , but had to keep my mouth shut //
that is what i am saying 🙁 and i know how tough it is.

//I love to know why u feel that its ok for a rape victim to go throo with the pregnancy//
i never said that…. infact my views on rape can be condensed into this post.
http://shocking.wordpress.com/2005/06/14/who-should-be-blamed-for-rape/

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