But what is it that you want?

I was raised in an environment where we did not have much of a choice. The major decisions are made easy because in reality you are not taking them. Its governed by the norms and expectations of the parents, society, relatives and even teachers.

You study hard because the neighbor’s kids have higher grades. You speak English and not your mother tongue because that is a sign of being educated. After schooling you have no choice but to pursue engineering or medicine because it is hard to support oneself on art or sports. After the bachelors one has to pursue MBA. Not because they want to but because that is expected of them by others. Jobs, marriage, kids, house, cars everything is governed by one big question “What is expected out of me?”

Indians have a greater external locus of control than most people from other countries, however things are changing. It is easier when we are told by our family, spouse, boss or society what to do and what not to do rather than take a plunge ourselves. We judge our success not by how much happiness it brings us, but by the eyes of the others. Surprisingly the system works and the country is growing by leaps and bounds. However the question is when we are going to rise above the Maslov’s basic needs of materialistic success and security to pursue our passions. When are we going to take a time out to fully understand ourselves and take time to develop our hobbies and interests? The goal of life is not material success.