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Quotes

Hypersensitive Nation

This is how Bible will be if it was written today.

Author’s disclaimer on the new bible
Warning: This is a work of Fiction. Do not take it literally
Content Advisory: Contains verses descriptive & advocating suicides, incest, bestiality, sadomasochism, sexual activity in a violent contest, murder, morbid violence,, use of drugs or alcohol, homosexuality, voyeurism, revenge, undermining of authority, figures, lawlessness and human rights violation and atrocities.
Exposure warning: Exposure to contents for extended period of time or during formative years in children may cause delusions, hallucinations, decreased cognitive and objective reasoning abilities, and in extreme cases, pathological disorders, hatred, bigotry and and violence including, but not limited to fanaticism, murder and genocide.
Is our society actually progressing?
Somehow I feel people are becoming more sensitive to trivial issues than they should be. They do not want to expose themselves to new ideas and thoughts and are hell bend in preserving what they have. This has really brought a stagnation in our society
Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog.
Few people are interested and the frog dies of it.
-E. B. White
Why has the nation become hyper-sensitive to jokes… Why there is such a public outrage whenever any celebrity utters something humorous?

Categories
Quotes review

Punishment – by Boss

I have been a fan of Kelsey Grammer since the first episode of Frasier. So when it recently came to my notice that he was acting in a drama as a character with a negative shade, I was looking forward to it. I completed watching the first season of “Boss”, which is an amazing series. Fantastic stories and subplots, superb dialogues. I jotted down an excerpt from one of the episodes which features the Boss’s political adviser telling him about the nature of punishment. Good lines, even better with the context.
The punishment should always be commensurate to the crime. It should be proportionate And visible. A punishment is not only an act of retribution, it’s also a signal.
It needs to be seen and understood by anyone else Who might have flirted with the notion of committing the same transgression,
And it’s a signal that no one is exempt from the consequences of betrayal.
We had a saying when I was in the boy scouts whenever we entered a camp:”take pictures,leave footprints.” But now more than ever,you must do neither.
There is a formal aspect to punishment, a ritual nature. It has shape and body. It’s about consequence, Accountability, Actions having repercussions. It’s vital that the transgressors understand the rules they have broken. Your choice of punishment needs to be seen as fair, proportional and reciprocal.
But the nature can only be decided by the punisher himself – You. You decide. The boss.

 

Categories
Humor Quotes

Frasier Quotes

I am a big fan of the sitcom Frasier. It is one of the most successful spin-off series in television history and one of the most critically acclaimed comedy series of all time. During it’s eleven year run., it won a record 37 Emmies. I decided to compile the best quotes from the protagonist, Dr. Frasier Crane. Although I do believe watching them in context is way funnier.
01.I’m not chicken. I’m just really hesitant.
02.I’m sorry, Niles, I was afraid you might be trying to get a picture of my butt!
03.How can we possibly use sex to get what we want? Sex is what we want!
04.You’d be hard-pressed to find a bigger snob in the entire room!
05.I’m not bored, I was simply wondering how long we’ve been sitting here enjoying ourselves.
06.You’re not a child anymore. Now come with me to the bathroom.
07.There’s an incredible piece of scientific equipment known as the Tunneling Electron Microscope. Now, this microscope is so powerful that by firing electrons you can actually see images of the atom, the infinitesimally minute building block of our universe. If I were using that microscope right now, I still wouldn’t be able to locate my interest in your problem.
08.I took my poor battered heart and offered it to Lilith….who put it in her little food processor and hit the puree button.
09.She’s obviously a little touchy about her age, but it’s not like this is the first time she’s turned forty.
10.I am so tired of your exaggeration! You always make things 50,000 times worse than they are!
11.There are worse things than seeing your career go down the toilet. I could have my hedges cut into unattractive shapes.
12.Oh, I’m sorry. Was I snippy? I didn’t realize that it was too much to ask that there not be gunplay in my living room!
13.And while I agree that washing his hands twenty to thirty times a day would be considered obsessive-compulsive behavior, bear in mind that your husband is a coroner.
14.I see you’re still waiting on that spine donor.
15.Somebody’s marriage must be on the skids! Somebody’s career must be going badly . . . besides mine.
 

Categories
Quotes

quote

Plagiarized from one of my friend’s status message:
“We say we love flowers, yet we pluck them.
We say we love trees, yet we cut them down.
And people still wonder why some are afraid when told they are loved….”

Categories
Quotes

Good food

Why is it that restaurants advertise that their food is as good as home cooked food while one of the best way to compliment someone’s cooking is to say “its better than what is served in a Restaurant”
All this makes me wonder what is the definition of good food

Categories
Quotes

Lessons of Life

1. When it comes to Chocolate, resistance is futile
2. Your job won’t take care of you when you are ill, but your family and friends will.
Stay in touch.
3. No one is incharge of your hapiness but you.
4. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
5. The best is yet to come.

Categories
Quotes

Kabir’s Doha

“Durbal ko na sataiyye, jaki moti hai.Bina jeev ke saans le, loh bhasam ho jaay.”

Don’t harass the downtrodden
Because their curses are very potent
Just as the dead cow’s hide of the bellows
Makes the iron melt.

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Miscellaneous Quotes

A quote from Ulysses

This one has always helped me when down in blues…

’Tis not too late to seek a newer world.
Push off, and sitting well in order smite The sounding furrows;
for my purpose holds To sail beyond the sunset,
and the baths Of all the western stars until I die.
It may be that the gulfs will wash us down:
It may be we shall touch the Happy Isles,
And see the great Achilles, whom we knew.
Tho’ much is taken, much abides; and tho’
We are not now that strength which in old days
Moved earth and heaven; that which we are, we are;
One equal temper of heroic hearts,
Made weak by time and fate, but strong in will
To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield.

Categories
Quotes

Unconditional Love

A friend of mine recently quoted…

If you want unconditional love, get a daughter or a dog.

Since I have none, I would be curious to know What are your views on the statement?

Categories
Quotes

Great Software Quotes …. !!!

UNIX is simple. But It just needs a genius to understand its simplicity.

–Dennis Ritchie

Before software can be reusable, it first has to be usable.

–Ralph Johnson

Good judgment comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgment.

–Fred Brooks

Theory is when you know something, but it doesn’t work. Practice is when something works, but you don’t know why it works. Programmers combine theory and practice: Nothing works and they don’t know why.

It’s hard enough to find an error in your code when you’re looking for it; it’s even harder when you’ve assumed your code is error-free.

-Steve McConnell Code Complete

If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker that came along would destroy civilization.

-Gerald Weinberg

The Six Phases of a Project:

Enthusiasm

Disillusionment

Panic

Search for the Guilty

Punishment of the Innocent

Praise for non-participants

Good code is its own best documentation. As you’re about to add a comment, ask yourself, ‘How can I improve the code so that this comment isn’t needed?’
Improve the code and then document it to make it even clearer.

–Steve McConnell Code Complete

The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt.

–Bertrand Russell

No matter how slick (efficient) the demo is in rehearsal, when you do it in front of a live audience the probability of a flawless presentation is inversely proportional to the number of people watching, raised to the power of the amount of money involved.

One of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was that, lacking zero, they had no way to indicate successful termination of their C programs.

–Robert Firth

Fifty years of programming language research and we end up with C++?

–Richard A. O’Keefe

C programmers never die. They are just cast into void.

If debugging is the process of removing bugs, then programming must be the process of putting them in.

–Edsger Dijkstra

You can either have software quality or you can have pointer arithmetic, but you cannot have both at the same time.

–(Bertrand Meyer)

(Thoughtful…)

There are two ways to write error-free programs; only the third works.

–Alan J. Perlis

Measuring programming progress by lines of code is like measuring aircraft building progress by weight.

–Bill Gates

The first 90% of the code accounts for the first 10% of the development time. The remaining 10% of the code accounts for the other 90% of the development time.

–Tom Cargill

Programmers are in a race with the Universe to create bigger and better idiot-proof programs, while the Universe is trying to create bigger and better idiots. So far the Universe is winning.

–Anon

As soon as we started programming, we found to our surprise that it wasn’t as easy to get programs right as we had thought. Debugging had to be discovered. I can remember the exact instant when I realized that a large part of my life from then on was going to be spent in finding mistakes in my own programs.

–Maurice Wilkes discovers debugging, 1949

I did say something along the lines of “C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows your whole leg off.”

–Bjarne Stroustrup

It has been said that the great scientific disciplines are examples of giants standing on the shoulders of other giants. It has also been said that the software industry is an example of midgets standing on the toes of other midgets.

–Alan Cooper About Face

Computers are dumb and yet they give you answers.

–Pablo Picasso

If the code and the comments disagree, then both are probably wrong.

–attributed to Norm Schryer

Even if you’re on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.

–Will Rogers

Einstein argued that there must be simplified explanations of nature, because God is not capricious or arbitrary. No such faith comforts the software engineer .

–Fred Brooks, Jr.

As we said in the preface to the first edition, C “wears well as one’s experience with it grows.” With a decade more experience, we still feel that way.

–Brian Kernighan and Dennis Ritchie

Simplicity is prerequisite for reliability

–Edsger W.Dijkstra

I’ve finally learned what “upward compatible” means. It means we get to keep all our old mistakes.

–Dennie van Tassel

Rules of Optimization:

Rule 1: Don’t do it.

Rule 2 (for experts only): Don’t do it yet.

–M.A. Jackson

Most software today is very much like an Egyptian pyramid with millions of bricks piled on top of each other, with no structural integrity, but just done by brute force and thousands of slaves.

–Alan Kay

Every program has (at least) two purposes:
the one for which it was written,
and another for which it wasn’t.

–Alan J. Perlis

Technology is dominated by two types of people:
Those who understand what they do not manage.
Those who manage what they do not understand.

–Putt’s Law

Copy and paste is a design error

–David Parnas

Any code of your own that you haven’t looked at for six or more months might as well have been written by someone else.

–Eagleson’s law