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Quotes

more quotes

Ø When I was born, I was so surprised I didn’t
talk for a year and a half.

Ø Join the army, see the world, meet interesting
people, and kill them.

Ø Until I was 13, I thought my name was ‘Shut
Up.’

Ø I’m not afraid to die. I just don’t want to be
there when it happens.

Ø Always and never are two words you should
always remember never to use.

Ø I’ve never been drunk, but often I’ve been
over served.

Ø The road to success is always under
construction.

Ø I say no to drugs — they just don’t listen!

Ø Marriage is one of the chief causes of
divorce.

Ø Work is fine if it doesn’t take up too much of
your time.

Ø When everything’s coming your way, you’re in
the wrong lane.

Ø Born free; Taxed to death.

Ø Everyone has a photographic memory; some
people just don’t have film.

Ø Life is unsure; always eat your dessert first.

Ø Smile — it makes people wonder what you’re up
to.

Ø I love being a writer… what I can’t stand is
the paperwork.

Ø A printer consists of 3 main parts: the case,
the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light.

Ø The hardest part of skating is the ice.

Ø The guy who invented the first wheel was an
idiot; the guy who invented the other three, he was
the genius.

Ø The trouble with being punc tual is that
there’s no one there to appreciate it.

Ø If our constitution allows us free speech, why
are there phone bills?

Ø If you tell a man there are 300 billion stars
in the universe, he’ll believe you. But if you tell
him a park bench has just been painted, he has to
touch it to be sure.

Ø Beat the 5 O’clock rush: leave work at noon!

Ø If you can’t convince them, confuse them.

Ø It’s not the fall that kills you; it’s the
sudden stop at the end.

Ø I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your
horn louder.

Ø Hot glass looks same as cold glass. (Cunino’s
Law of Burnt Fingers)

Ø Someday is not a day of the week

-Courtsey
Priyamvada Agrawal

Categories
Quotes

random thought

The difference between involvement and commitment is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast: the chicken was involved – the pig was committed.
– Anirban

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Quotes

terrifying words

The nine most terrifying words in the English language are:
‘I’m from the government and I’m here to help.’

Four most: “Whose BRA is this!”

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Quotes

quote of the day

The quickest way to a man’s heart really is through his stomach, because then you don’t have to chop through that pesky rib cage.

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Quotes

Irony of life

Irony of life

Every civilized man stops at the Red Light

– Sachin Godbole

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Quotes

triple filter

Socrates (469 – 399 BC) was widely lauded in ancient Greece for his wisdom. One day an acquaintance ran up to him and said, “Socrates, do you know what I just heard about one of your students?” “Wait,” replied Socrates. “Before you continue, I want you to ask yourself this: does what I am about to say pass the Triple Test?” “The triple test?” “That’s right,” Socrates continued. “Before you talk to me about my student, ask yourself this: Are you absolutely sure that what you are about to tell me is the Truth?” “No,” the man said, “actually I just heard it myself and…” “All right,” said Socrates, “so you don’t really know if it’s true or not. Now ask yourself this: Is what you are about to tell me something Good?” “No, on the contrary…” began his friend. “So, you want to say something bad even though you’re not sure it’s true?” The embarrassed man shrugged. “Yeah, I guess so.” Socrates continued, “You may still pass the test though, because there is the third test: the filter of Usefulness. Is what you were going to tell me going to be Useful to me?” “Well, I guess not. Not really.” “Well, then” concluded Socrates, “if what you want to say is neither True, nor Good, nor Useful, why tell me at all?” The man walked away, defeated and shamed. And this is why Socrates was a great philosopher and held in high esteem. And it also explains why Socrates never knew that Plato was banging Mrs. Socrates!

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Quotes

brain

ur brain is a masterpiece. it has 2 halves- the left & the right. The left has nothing right in it & d right has nothing left in it.
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the graveyards are full of people who rushed in bravely but unwisely.
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Faith is the antithesis of proof.
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Faith is a euphemism for prejudice and religion is a euphemism for superstition.

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Quotes

velocity of sound

Sound must travel very slowly. Sometimes the things you say when your kids are teenagers doesn’t reach them until they’re well into their 20s!

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Quotes

some quotes

I have long been of the opinion that if work were such a splendid thing the rich would have kept more of it for themselves. – Bruce Grocott