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Recipe for impressing a woman:

Wine her, Dine her, Call her, Hug her, Support her, Hold her, Surprise her, Compliment her, Smile at her, Listen to her, Laugh with her, Cry with her, Romance her, Encourage her, Believe in her, Pray with her, Pray for her, Cuddle with her, Shop with her, Give her jewelry, Buy her flowers, Hold her hand, Write love letters to her, Go to the end of the Earth and back again for her.

Just imagine substituting “him” for “her” in this passage, and telling women to do it. “I want to be his girlfriend, not his slave” would be a reasonable response.

What is Robin’s lesson? Men take a lot of abuse in our society, but rarely complain about it. Why not? Because when men complain, they look weak and get mocked.

Paranoid? Consider: You hear that a woman’s husband is cheating on her. Your likely reaction: Sympathy. OK, what if you hear that a man’s wife is cheating on him? Your likely reaction: Poorly suppressed laughter.

Similarly, how do you react when you hear that a man’s wife “won’t let him” do something? “Ha ha, he’s whipped.” What if you heard that a woman’s husband “won’t let her” do something? “How awful – how can she live like that?”

We usually think that people who complain have a raw deal. What Robin points out, though, is that the people with the rawest deals don’t complain because the world won’t listen.

63 replies on “Men’s Rights”

“I want to be his girlfriend, not his slave” would be a reasonable response. //

But tell me this…how many men respect women who are nice to them ?
that again is interpretted as weakness !

yes men like trouble… hence in spite of all the warnings, they marry.. but to control the damage.. they usually pick up a trouble that is smaller (both in size and age) then what they can handle.

//how many men respect women who are nice to them ?//
jokes apart…. what gave you that idea? Only a lonely, desperate skirt chaser would continue to be friends with someone who ill treats him.

yes a guy’s tolerance and ego is a lot dependent on the looks of the girl, but at least I would not tolerate a pompous snob even if she is a Miss Universe and I am marooned in an isolated island.

Hey Ankur and Mohan

yes men like trouble… hence in spite of all the warnings, they marry.. but to control the damage.. they usually pick up a trouble that is smaller (both in size and age) then what they can handle. //
:))
now I know why men are not protected in domestic violence 😉

//how many men respect women who are nice to them ?//
jokes apart…. what gave you that idea? Only a lonely, desperate skirt chaser would continue to be friends with someone who ill treats him.//

Men like anything that is difficult to get. A girl who is attentive , affectionate and shows it is considered an ‘easy catch’ . There is no charm in that. And after a while she is taken for granted and the man refuses to keep her in good cheers. Ultimately she wakes up one day and feels her efforts are misinterpretted and the whole thing is down the drain.
‘Putting up one’s price’ is an attractive trait !

A woman who juggles a career yet puts her husband’s break-fast on the table caring abt his health is called a ‘door-mat’ . When she makes him put the oat-meal in the microwave she is treated an ‘equal’ .

yes a guy’s tolerance and ego is a lot dependent on the looks of the girl, but at least I would not tolerate a pompous snob even if she is a Miss Universe and I am marooned in an isolated island. //
there is a difference between a ‘pompous snob’ and a ‘smooth operator’ !

@Ammar…
Thank you.

@sree..
//now I know why men are not protected in domestic violence//
the world is not a safe place for a man anymore 🙁

//A girl who is attentive , affectionate and shows it is considered an ‘easy catch’ .There is no charm in that.//
yups playful puppy fights and temperaments are often necessary to spice up the life.. after you cannot have bland food day in and day out.

//A woman who juggles a career yet puts her husband’s break-fast on the table caring abt his health is called a ‘door-mat’ . When she makes him put the oat-meal in the microwave she is treated an ‘equal’ .//
i won’t use the word doormat… but ya very aptly said 🙁

//’smooth operator’ //
for 1-2 times throwing tantrums or emotional blackmail/tears will give you want you want. but a guy is no dumb not to see through it.. sooner or later he will start ignoring you.

@sree & Ankur
//Recipe for impressing a woman

No man..its very simple..but difficult to maintain in a long run.I insist “difficult to maintain in a long run”.. 🙂

1)flowers wid bushes
2)small gifts at regular intervals.
3)calling them at regular intervals,failing which all previous efforts will become
bullshit.(This is called true maintainence )
4)Avoid staring at other babes
5)false praises of small things of her
6)A surprise romantic gift will be her dream ,give it a shot!
7)Help in shopping,
8)talk abt dogs,puppies and say u love kittens..
9)just take her to Sharukh khan /romantic movies
10)sleep after she is asleep
11)Drink in a way ,so that she can never find abt it(depends abt woman to woman)
11)watch sas bahu..u win her at that instant…100 per “Ram Ban”.
12)get emotional
e.g she “do u knw my friend Nisha had a brk up”.
He” Oh my god…i feel sorry abt her…how terrible she may be feeling…lets meet her consle her.Hope it never happen to us” Stuffs like these will definetly make u MATURED PERSON.

and many more..to be continued…..

yups… and and after torturing yourself with these 12 steps… continue to smile and crack some silly jokes.
but nitin the problem which I face is how to get yourself introduced in the very first place 🙁

@nitin, sorry to barge into your comment, but I think I need to protect women here. I don’t think of any these would apply to any sensible girl 🙁 Sad to know that guys have such a crazy notion.

@ankur, Introduce yourself Mister! Indians could take some lesson from their Western counterparts…seriously. 🙂

@ruhi…
I am a sucker for free speech… so none of the comments at E-Nagar ever gets moderated.
I cannot find any of your comments in the moderated comments list.. so can you kindly retype it for me….

//I don’t think of any these would apply to any sensible girl//
I would object that…. I try the following 4 things.. and I never had any regrets.
1) be yourself.. the more you would like to alter yourself to put up a show the less desirable you become.
2) there are lots of things she always wanted to do/say or experience but could never do… listen to her and give her opportunity to express herself and fulfill them…
3) crack jokes and always maintain a smile.
4) tell her what you truly and honestly feel.

//Introduce yourself Mister!//
i have tried that n number of times, but the problem is that if you go and approach a stranger… she becomes defensive and starts thinking “why is he talking to me?” 🙁

@ruhi

Its always pleasure that someone out from nowhere comes and shoots their valuable comment.
“but I think I need to protect women here”
The women are not in any danger and attack by the men.
All 12 ponits written by me are (in software language) tried ,tested and perfect code.

I ask you if u have a boyfriend/husband and if he follows any of my 12 points whether genuinely or purposely ,it will make u happy..

If not? it will mean that u doubt his behaviour?bcos there is not question of u not liking it (sensible girl)if u trust him completely .

u getting it.?the above behavious is always a delight for a women.otherwise she is not a women.!!!

@nitin..
//Its always pleasure that someone out from nowhere comes and shoots their valuable comment.//
beware… some of the girls in this forum shoot real lead bullets.

//(in software language) tried ,tested and perfect code.//
also I wish there was something like a perfect code…

@ Ankur

the world is not a safe place for a man anymore //
its high time the safety net was snipped 😛
otherwise there wld’nt be any control :p

yups playful puppy fights and temperaments are often necessary to spice up the life.. after you cannot have bland food day in and day out.//
as long as it does not give a heart-burn 🙂

put the oat-meal in the microwave she is treated an ‘equal’ .//
i won’t use the word doormat… but ya very aptly said //#
hmm..happy u got my point. So no ‘door-mat’ ,but u know…probably a milder term.

//’smooth operator’ //
for 1-2 times throwing tantrums or emotional blackmail/tears will give you want you want.//
oh those are all so paase !

but a guy is no dumb not to see through it.. sooner or later he will start ignoring you.//
the drive will be so smooth that u wont even know u r on a ride !

@Prax
wats wit sree ?
i cant quite figure out! //

I just wanted to bring out the fact that women who do a lot for their husband and family are taken for granted.

In many instances she is seen as a weekling who has no better work to do except take care of his needs.

oh c’mon how many ppl really adore and admire the housewives and appreciate their work ?

@Nitin

hey…I sure like all the 12 points…it just goes to say u keep thinking about her.
All the 12 ideas may be differents tasks..but it just produces one result.
The girl thinks “ahh…he is trying to impress me…and that’s a good sign…he cares” .
So its not the effect that each gesture brings about, its the overall attitude that is reflected in these gestures 🙂

Avoid staring at other babes //
and if u believe u have fooled her…think again 😛
she is just having a good time putting u in a spot :))

Kudos man…keep giving more lists 🙂
who does’nt want to be doted upon 😉

Hey Ankur…
I think u r contradicting what Nitin’s 12 ideas say with ur 4 points.
He is talking abt impressing a girl by mere gestures whether the guy means it or not. I am sure no guy wants to be sponges for sob stories as the last one says 🙂

But ur 4 points are an upfront deal !

//the drive will be so smooth that u wont even know u r on a ride !//
if both parties are enjoying the ride then why should someone care?

//oh c’mon how many ppl really adore and admire the housewives and appreciate their work ?//
if you do not appreciate the other’s affection, then the love will soon fade away.. the honeymoon period does not last forever.

But the point of this post is that its the guys who are suppressed.. they cannot even protest

if both parties are enjoying the ride then why should someone care? //
exactly..see there wld be no complaints.

if you do not appreciate the other’s affection, then the love will soon fade away.. the honeymoon period does not last forever.//
so men shd first see what they are missing out by not appreciating good gestures.

But the point of this post is that its the guys who are suppressed.. they cannot even protest //
and my point is before protesting they have to straighten a few misconceptions

//so men shd first see what they are missing out by not appreciating good gestures.//
In spite of the jokes about marriages, it is a well researched fact that married individuals are the happier than bachelors. They live longer, fall sick less often, laugh more, and enjoy a higher standard of living (even when your spouse is a homemaker and you have kids)

So a guy knows why his wife is called the better half. Hence for as long as it is possible, he prefers to stick around rather than go back to his pre-marriage bachelorhood days.

The only sad part is that the spouse is aware of this fact and often holds it at ransom.

I liked this comment the best of all 🙂

The only sad part is that the spouse is aware of this fact and often holds it at ransom.//
I am happy u used the word ‘spouse’ here !

I have made it very clear that a women wont be indifferent to the 12 ideas if she trust her man.
And these 12 ideas are maintainence ideas.Its not for the “Lukkhas” single one.But it can help thou..in winning her..(so no “impressing” word here @sree)

But the real problem is maintainence..who will but himself to death by commiting to such maintainence?
So the result is fights on small things.
A women may remember things which a man wud never remember.All in all both the sexes have different kinds of way and different ways of processing information.

I shud call woman HARD CORE PROCESSOR’s 🙂

So instead of arguing the way we are..lets put the blame on the genes itself..

We are made to behave the way we behave and if each one understand how the other sex wud behave in any particular condition ;
“THE WORLD WUD BE A BETTER PLACE TO LIVE”

philosophy frm me.. hahaha

nice post Ankur !! keep it up…

😀 hey I am just a spectator… who jibes in whenever given an opportunity. 😛

yesterday you two were fighting about gender supremacy.. and today the mood looks totally different.
actions speak louder than words…

an evil ’smooth operator’ is trying to disrupt the peace and harmony //
make up ur mind , man ! its either ur presence or its peace and harmony 😛

@Nitin
We can be if u like..//
ofcourse , Nitin 🙂

@ nitin,

I ask you if u have a boyfriend/husband and if he follows any of my 12 points whether genuinely or purposely ,it will make u happy..

No, it won’t make me happy. Let me counter all the points that you made:

1)flowers wid bushes

Pretty, yes. But a waste of money in the long run. (Sorry, baniya mentality :P)

2)small gifts at regular intervals.

No need. My love doesn’t depend upon small gifts. The guy’s behavior is much more imp. This just means that even if the guy has been a jerk and he comes for a date with some flowers, I should melt into his arms.

3)calling them at regular intervals,failing which all previous efforts will become.

Please…All I’ll have to tell the guy is “Go get a life and let me live mine.” If I need someone to lean on all the time, then I need to see a shrink.

bullshit.(This is called true maintainence )… Agree….no need to call regularly “by force”. If you really call out of the blue just to tell me that you miss me, I’ll appreciate it more 😉

4)Avoid staring at other babes

Well..no. People are polygamous by nature. Just because we are going around doesn’t mean that we should stop admiring other people too. I will stare at other guys too if I find them hot. So, the guy can stare at some other babe too. But I would appreciate it if he didn’t do it on the first date. 😛

5)false praises of small things of her

NO WAY! That just means that the guy doesn’t like me in reality…I would see through it anyway.

6)A surprise romantic gift will be her dream ,give it a shot!

Good. But don’t do it to impress me or to say sorry for something else.SHOW ME that you are sorry by reversing it or by never repeating it instead of buying me a gift.

7)Help in shopping,

Guys are a pain in the ass when I go for shopping with them. I prefer leaving them at home.

8)talk abt dogs,puppies and say u love kittens..

No way…Bores me to death.

9)just take her to Sharukh khan /romantic movies

Dislike him totally…and the genre of romantic movies…they are so unrealistic.

10)sleep after she is asleep

Whoa! Nothing of that sort…sleep when you are sleepy..

11)Drink in a way ,so that she can never find abt it(depends abt woman to woman)

I prefer knowing that the guy is drunk, so that I can stay away 😉

11)watch sas bahu..u win her at that instant…100 per “Ram Ban”.

Yuck!!! Any girl who likes those serials must get a mental check up.

12)get emotional
e.g she “do u knw my friend Nisha had a brk up”.
He” Oh my god…i feel sorry abt her…how terrible she may be feeling…lets meet her consle her.Hope it never happen to us” Stuffs like these will definetly make u MATURED PERSON.

Nothing of that sort…I don’t like gossiping about other people.

Sorry for such a long comment.

u getting it.?the above behavious is always a delight for a women.otherwise she is not a women.!!!

So, am I not a woman? 😛 Sorry, I feel like taking potshots at your comment.

@ankur,

[I cannot find any of your comments in the moderated comments list.. so can you kindly retype it for me….]

Thought so for a moment when my comment didn’t appear. Sorry!

[I would object that…. I try the following 4 things.. and I never had any regrets.
1) be yourself.. the more you would like to alter yourself to put up a show the less desirable you become.
2) there are lots of things she always wanted to do/say or experience but could never do… listen to her and give her opportunity to express herself and fulfill them…
3) crack jokes and always maintain a smile.
4) tell her what you truly and honestly feel.]

The points that you make here are different from Nitin’s 🙂 #1 doesn’t fail any guy..I agree. Pretending doesn’t earn you any points.

#2. Yes, it’s good if you are ‘genuinely’ interested in listening. But PLEASE don’t listen just for the sake of it 🙂 We can even talk to our female friends you know? 🙂 I think this point applies to guys too. Even guys like talking about stuff they wouldnt be dead caught talking with their male friends.

#3. NOOOOOO! I don’t want a ‘fun loving guy who always makes me laugh’. You must have seen this line in thousands of matrimonial profiles. A guy saying that he is ‘fun loving and humorous’ results in immediate disqualification. Also,on a side note, any guy posing for pictures with his car also gets disqualified from my potential bf list.

#4. I agree 🙂 We would love to hear what you genuinely feel…like I said.

[i have tried that n number of times, but the problem is that if you go and approach a stranger… she becomes defensive and starts thinking “why is he talking to me?” :(]

Really? Hmm..weird. I don’t think there is anything more flattering that a guy just walking up to me and introducing himself.

@ruhi…
thanks for a detailed clarification on all the assumptions we have. i think we can use this feedback to fine tune our approach.

//‘fun loving and humorous’ results in immediate disqualification//
I wonder why? for I think everybody needs an occasional smile 🙂

//Really? Hmm..weird.//
i think i need to work on my presentation skills…. first impression is often very important

@ankur,

[I wonder why? for I think everybody needs an occasional smile :)]

Yeah, but most of the people use this phrase because they don’t know any other adjective. And frankly speaking, when everybody says that they are ‘fun loving and humorous’ , then an image of a joker comes to my mind 😛

[i think i need to work on my presentation skills…. first impression is often very important]

You crack me up.. 🙂 You are the guy on a mission 😉 All the best.

@ruhi..

Your answers were as if i had these 12 points to impress you..i can say it was a generalization not specilization !!

Well i can reply to each of your comments but it will be a long comment..

i can better mail you..if u want..

To sum up.
There are girls of different kinds .. and only few people knw how to pull the right string for the right one..
Still i cannot digest u r indifference to few of my points…

anyways cheers!!!

@nitin,

[There are girls of different kinds .. and only few people knw how to pull the right string for the right one..]

I agree 🙂 I can’t speak for the whole crowd. That is how I feel only. It’s not representative of the entire gender, of course. If you know which string to pull, then you definitely know what you are doing!

[Still i cannot digest u r indifference to few of my points…]

I’m weird, I know 🙂 Thank you for sharing your points, btw. Need to keep a look out. Haha.

These things are all very important to do for a woman. Not just any woman but that special focus of your life. And she for you, assuming that you are the focus of her life. but It’s not what you do, it is WHY you do it. True romance is not ‘let’s make a deal,” It is ‘Let’s make a life.’ Go for the life (and partnership) that you dream of. And then make it better.

It should start with constant emotional connection — John Gottman’s “bids.” He has done years worth of research and finds that successful and unsuccesful relations have nothing to do with male dominance, or female pride or any such ‘advice’. — but constant and positive emotional connection.

If you are not up to the romantic marathon of a life long commitment, then don’t enter that race. Go for the sprint of the one night stand: some people like that kind of emotional excitement for a few years, that is, until they find out how emotionally unrewarding it is.

@Jim
Thanks for beautifully summing up your ideas. I totally agree with your views… people in love do not keep track of what they have done and compare with what their partner has done 🙂
Welcome to E-Nagar.. We hope so see more more from your side.

I agree that men r being given a raw deal and r being discriminated against. Lets join hands and DEMAND equality for everyone, irrespective of gender

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