smart kid

“Mom, can I have twenty dollars?” asked Little Johnny.
“Certainly not!” “Would you give me twenty bucks if I told you what dad said to the maid when you were at the beauty shop this afternoon?” Mom’s ears perked up. She found her purse and pulled out a twenty. “Well? What did he say?”
Little Johnny replied, “He said, ‘Hey, Marie, be sure you wash my socks tomorrow!’ “


school teacher

A gorgeous young schoolteacher ran a red light and got caught by a ticket camera. She went to the traffic court judge’s chambers to request special attention since she was supposed to be teaching her class.
The judge looked over her beautiful body and said, “You know, I’ve always had a fantasy about schoolteachers.”
Her ticket, her fine, her increased insurance rates flashed through her mind. As she sat on the edge of his desk, she said, “Why, judge. Is there anything I can do about it?”
The judge grinned. “You sure can. Sit down at that table over there and write ‘I will not run a red light’ five hundred times!”