THE CASE OF THE MISSING BANIAN

Guest post from T.R.Ramaswami
The case of the missing “bullet-proof” vest is shooting along and our famous detective, or is it “defective” of the police force (farce?) Shri Hairlock Shome has solved the case – here is the gripping story.
TV Anchor Halka Butt : What has happened to the vest?
Union Home Minister : If the state government and the city police cannot find the vest I am very sorry for that.
Istate Home Minister: Arre, har mahina mere “Home” mein mera vest goom ho jata hai. Woh rail bridge hadsa ka file bhi goom ho gaya. Abhi bridge bhi goom ho saktha hai. Mere khayal mein koi “vested” interest iske peeche hai. Is vest ke peechey itna time aur paisa waste hotha hai. Ek vest goom ho gaya tho doosra contract mein aur ek kharidh lenge. Itna bada shahar mein aisi choti cheez – vest, file, bridge, ithyadhi, ithyadi tho goom ho saktha hai.
DG State Police : The city police does not come under me or report to me.
City Police Commissioner: We have filed an FIR for theft. I have asked DCP Rupa to investigate. She knows all about vests, banians and chaddis.
DCP Rupa : I have put the entire police dog squad to sniff out the vest. They have been sniffing all over the Mahalakshmi dhobi ghat. So far they have been only able to sniff chaddis.
Chief Sarkari Kutha : Bow, bow-wow, bow bow wow. Bow-wow bow-wow bow. Bow wow wow, wow, bow wow.
Translation of above: I smell a rat and shall soon let the cat out of the vest.
– T.R.Ramaswami