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their confidence shakes me

Background:
1) This pair of love-birds have been together for quite a long time and understand each other so well that they usually complete each others sentences.
2) The guy is typical, indifferent with the fact whom he settles with. All he hopes that he should be the first love of his wife (unfortunately he is not her first love but he did not care that either)
3) The girl loves this guy; her parents do not reject this guy. However they say she deserves better (well he is educated and has a good job, attractive looking too. BUT you know parents… )
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I was tried to reason her against her decision of going for an arranged marriage.
I got a answer…..

1) Marriage is a relationship of 2 families and not just 2 souls.

2) Every relationship has ups and down. When there are good, you do not care about the world, but it is at the time of downs that you look forward for support. What I fear is that when I look forward for it, my parents might say “I TOLD YOU SO! I know this is going to happen ….” and his parents will not have that sense of belonginess for me. They might feel “ Sadak se ladka kisi ko utha laye tab bhi manna padta” (We are compelled to agree even if our son selects any random bride)

3) When two souls live together, love is bound to happen. I am sure within a few months I will forget all about “present guy” and devote myself fully to the husband.

The guy is adamant. He says, she has to take the decision and he will support and respect it as if it was his decision only. I cannot force my love on anybody.

Both of them are sure of what they are doing, but I am wondering “Is it a matured thought of these two love-birds or another relation is breaking prematurely.”

 

street, Bengaluru South, Karnataka, India

11 replies on “their confidence shakes me”

I agree with you Soumya.. That the thinking of the female is much matured

However is matching of JANAM KUNDLI the recipe of a perfect marriage?

But I still am in the favor of miko’s arguments….

How can one presume that arranged marriage will work? Till about a decade or two back when female didn’t have that much say/power in a relationship all marriages were working. Divorce was practically unheard in India. But the reason was that the guy lived life as he liked it while the female allowed herself to be treated like a slave who blindly worshiped him and blamed all her misery to fate. With changing time and increasing empowerment, and financial independence, the time is changing.

it is a total mature decision
it reflects deep understanding of life, human beings, society and physiology of all mentioned above

amazing part is that girls usually dont have this level of understanding

If u or anybody feels that his or her parents r good human beings and they love u and care for u then about marriage u must listen to ur parents
if u dont then u r a total selfish being

u shud go against parents only if u can declare that they dont love u

i don’t think anyone can predict which marriages will work and which won’t. arranged or love.
what if the guy her parents choose for her,who she is assuming she will eventually love, has a darker side to him? is it as easy as going back to your parents?
love- marriages are not forever going strong on ‘love’ alone. there is a lot of commitment, there is a lot of acceptance, and there is a lot of compromise too. u discover and grow to love a person only with u live with them.

we are responsible for the choices we make. whether u choice arranged over love.

Yes, you can learn to love the partner your family choose for you, but on the other hand, your family can also learn to love the partner you choose.
It all comes down to willingness to accept and respect eachothers decissions.

@Sparkling.. that is when the problem starts… What I feel is that parents offer less resistance if the son goes and marries the girl of his dreams, then if the daughter even goes for out even for a lunch.

sure dude… but still i am not convinced about her arguments…
but in messy relationships, its best to stay at an arm’s distance rather than go in the middle of the things and mess ur life

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