(This post is the crappiest post I have ever written)

Peeing etiquettes: When I am micturating in a public urinal, I want some privacy. I do not want anybody to be peeing in the booth next to me. If you try occupying the spot just next me, I will give you a stare of your life and your bladders will automatically empty at double the speed.

Why men do that? I could think of only 2 possible reasons:
1) When I am passing my naturals, I want to be as close to nature as possible. To me nature is any place where there are no humans or concrete in the vicinity.
2) I do not want a prospectively Gay guy staring down my tool and imagining things.

I also do not want to pee in the booth at the edges
1) The walls make me feel cramped
2) There is poor air circulation at the corner of a room and I hate the aroma of the Toilet.

Lucky for me, there are enough guys in architecture to represent my case. 4 out of every 5 places I have soiled have an even number of urinals. I am more likely to go to places with 4, 6, 8 or 10 urinals in a row than to find 3, 5 or 7.

How does it help?
1) Consider a place with 5 urinals
| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 |
Looks pretty big, but it actually has room for 1 persons.
I am the first and proudly occupy the center booth
| 1 | 2 | X | 4 | 5 |
Now I will shoo away anybody who even remotely think of approaching booths ‘2’ and ‘4’. Hence forcing them to either wait or sheepishly occupy the fringes of my territory (booth ‘1’ or ‘5’)

If booth ‘3’ is “OUT OF ORDER”, then I will curse the Janitor and grab booth ‘2’. Hence making a room at booth ‘4’.
| 1 | X | – | X | 5 |
So either the Management has 2 pissed of users pissing in their toilets or be content with only 1 of the 5 booths getting used by a happy customer. (Efficiency of 20%)

2) Now consider having 6 booths.
| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 |
Now I get a choice to occupy either ‘3’ or ‘4’. People love the choice and also it ensures that I am extra happy. (3)
The next person who comes along also gets a sweet spot. (5) away from the wall and away from me.
| 1 | 2 | X | 4 | X | 6 |
The third person can see the rush, and be content in getting an isolated spot before he had to wait till his bladder gives way. (3 happy customers)
| X | 2 | X | 4 | X | 6 |

In case of the OUT OF ORDER of my favorite watering hole (3), I have an equally attractive backup. (4) So I might not even notice it.
| 1 | X | – | X | 5 | X |

No matter what you have 3 satisfied customers. Even number of booths increased the efficiency from 20% to 50%.

12 replies on “Urinals”

Think of a situation when the whole Men’s room is empty and a guy stands very close to you and unzips himself…. What would you do?

Avoiding eye contact is another way of getting an illusion of privacy… if you cannot see it then probably it is not there. It works well when the Toilet is crowded and your bladder is bursting leaving you with not choice but to unzip next to a prospectively Gay guy.

Ok. My comment was a little out of context. I think it was about men who are already familiar. They avoid eye contact while doing it. And I havent had the experience of having a guy next to me in an empty men’s room. I will try to follow your technique in future 🙂

thanks for sharing….
irrespective of the size, guys r always very possessive and insecure about it….
Nokia battery recall was a major issue primarily because a guy does not want any explosion near his privates.

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